i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Last night I spent less than 2 hours in my own bed.  Between the oldest needing someone to snuggle her, Hankasaurus Rex wanting a drink of water every two hours (I did leave the cup with him!), and the baby needing to be held in the rocking chair (he is the WORST at teething) it was a long night – and I loved every minute of it.

12182415_10103690851625718_4122483978144089849_oMeagan and I greet each other with weary but full smiles most mornings, and tomorrow will probably be the same.

It is not always the children.  Sometimes it’s the dogs, or something happens in the house, or you have a mountain of stuff you had to stay up late working on, or you just enjoy a quiet moment to play games or watch a dumb movie, or, or, or…

But each time we hurriedly make plans over the phone or have to spend a whole 10 minutes just to game plan that evening, Meagan and I try to set our perspective with a one word family motto – adventure.  We are in a stage where much of our life is centered around three little people. We don’t worship them – but we are still largely responsible for making sure they stay alive, so that eats up some time.

When we are over committed on a week night because Meagan is taking food to someone’s house and I’m trying to get to a rehearsal AND Cora is going to a birthday party – adventure.

When we are trying to leave to go on a vacation to see friends for the first time in a year and someone sets the dumpster behind our house on fire – adventure.13729200_10104361842454718_907449088511696786_n

When we finally get a peaceful moment to just lay next to each other and go through whatever funny videos, memes, or pictures we have saved for each other and then hear the sound of a dog or a kid starting to retch – adventure.

Life is so good.  It’s not perfect and it certainly isn’t a breeze, but together we can make sure we face it the right way.

Legendary climber and speaker, John Amatt says,

“Adventure isn’t hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life…”

Most people see adventure as grand: travel, exploration, advancement, NEW. And sometimes it is. But we are always adventuring. Every day has opportunity for discovery, for relishing whatever life is around us.

13508963_770806796214_2096652148358300102_nMeagan and I are celebrating 9 years of marriage today.  We have been together for 14.5 years.  We have been parents for almost 5 years, have lived in two cities, have had 8 different jobs, lived in 4 different houses/apartments, survived a bad car wreck, rescued puppies, worked with youth, traveled, laughed, cried, and laughed even harder.

We don’t have it figured out.  Some days one or both of us is just barely hanging on.  But we adventure together.  We lift each other up.  We dive in head first to whatever we are working on and love life togeth13873067_10104344613317048_5971712870745766321_ner.

I know there are many more challenges and opportunities that lie ahead of us as we navigate parenting, marriage, and life but there is no one that I would rather go through all of that with than Meagan.

The odd looking title of this post comes from the last line of an e e cummings poem that has always struck me when I read it. Like most poems it expresses a sentiment that I can never quite get out in words. It is also wonderfully sweet without being overly sappy.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I love you, Meagan.  Wherever life takes us, I am thrilled I get to live this adventure with you.

 

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