Having kids makes you do weird and sometimes embarrassing things. Like use words that don’t exist.
Kids are hysterical and awesome as they’re learning to speak and communicate. Sometimes it can be a challenge even for parents to figure out WHAT THE HECK they’re talking about. Just last night, Hank kept requesting the “Destiny” song, with great frustration at our apparent forgetfulness. We FINALLY realized he wanted Shut Up and Dance With Me (sing it in your head, but use “destiny” instead of “dance with me”…makes perfect sense!). And there’s nothing better than a kid pronouncing a word the wrong way with all conviction in the world. And the crushing moment when they begin to say it right and you are FURIOUS at whoever taught them to do so. We miss Cora’s “alicious!” (delicious) at dinners, and I cry now that she now has grown-up “polk-a-dots” instead of “polk-a-lots” on her clothes.
If you have kids, nieces, nephews, close tiny friends, you know what we’re talking about and probably have some adorable examples of your own.
But those aren’t what we’re talking about today. Here are 5 words, crafted by our crazies, that we forget are NOT actually words in real life. We catch ourselves using these words in grown-up conversations, only to embarrassingly realize that the adult we’re talking to has no idea what we’ve just said. Here’s a beginner’s guide to interpreting weird things we say:
1) Sleeping Day
What it means: the night through which you have just slept
Context: (first thing in the morning) How was your sleeping day?
This is the first question any person in our house asks as we groggily shuffle into the living room. How precious is that? We ask the kids, the kids ask us, they ask the dogs and especially the baby. Sometimes they even ask him after a nap. It simply means, “How did you sleep?” They only use it in the morning; so you can’t reference an upcoming sleeping day, like, “Ugh…is it sleeping day, yet?” Just a darling little phrase Cora used one morning that we gushed over and are holding onto forever.
So if we ask how your “sleeping day” was, or tell you we had a rough “sleeping day”, we’re not crazy, we just care.
2) Hungry Chair
What it means: originally meant the high chair, but now any chair you sit in to eat
Context: (before any meal or snack) Everyone get in your hungry chair!
Again, a Cora term (firstborns get to blaze the trail for a variety of things). She used it one day around age 2 when we asked her to get in her chair for lunch. She was genuinely confused and thought for a solid minute before finally asking, “Comfy chair? Or hungry chair?” So there ya go. I’ve boldly ordered guests to find their hungry chairs in our home before serving a meal. Kind of embarrassing, except I’m probably about to feed you a great meal WITH dessert so…I’d find a hungry chair if I were you…
3) Soft Clothes
What it means: clothes you wear at home to relax
Context: (upon seeing Dad in athletic shorts and knowing we are about to leave the house) Dad! You can’t go to dinner in your soft clothes!
Cora, again. She’s the talker right now. We are big on being relaxed in our home. Shoes are never on unless leaving or going outside (even then is iffy). My jewelry comes off the second we walk in the door, and the hair typically goes in a ponytail. We have a definite shift in posture when we return from adventuring. Home is for comfort. Soft clothes. Not jeans. Or anything with snaps and zippers and buttons and other things that take away from comfort.
Jeff’s typical transformation as he comes home and relaxes after the day is a t-shirt and some type of athletic short. I stay home with the kids, and they haven’t commented yet on how MOST of Mom’s clothes are soft clothes… But hey, someday when my figure isn’t bouncing back and forth between babies, I’ll buy REAL pants again…
The kids exist in nothing BUT soft clothes (toddlers cannot be bothered by discomfort EVER), and are currently under severe threats NOT to change outfits without permission. They LOVE changing outfits and I am struggling taming that laundry monster as it is…
So when we say we’re ready to get home and into some “soft clothes”, we just mean we’re ready to chill.
4) Food and Dinner (this is cheating, but these are actually words we do NOT say in our home unless in the proper context)
What it means: food=Raising Cane’s, dinner=macaroni and cheese
Context: Do you guys want some food? (you have just PROMISED Raising Cane’s) I’m going to go fix dinner! (the children are 100% expecting macaroni and will not stand for anything different)
These are courtesy of Hank. These generic terms just happened to solidify in his brain and vocabulary on a day when we had Cane’s after telling him we were getting food, and when I told him we were making “dinner” as we were mixing macaroni. Yes it was dinner THAT night, but in his world dinner is ALWAYS macaroni and cheese. “Getting food” ALWAYS means Cane’s. That is just the absolute truth of things in his world.
He’s our best eater and really isn’t picky, until you commit to something and then change your story. It became easier to just NOT say those words and avoid a fight over what we were eating. We forget that these very common words are NOT taboo in everyone’s life, and might have accidentally glared daggers at a few people who innocently said these words too loudly around our little dude.
Oh, and if you see us soon. Please don’t try this out for a laugh. That’s mean, and we will send him with YOU to get the chicken or macaroni you’ve just promised.
5) The Guys
What it means: Funko Pops–a super fun collection of vinyl pop culture display figures
Context: (this is used a lot) Hey let’s play with the guys! Do you want to pick out a new guy? Please get the guy out of your nose. No guys at the dinner table. Don’t throw guys at the dogs!
One of their favorite toys. One of OUR favorite toys! In fact, we started this waaaay before we had kids. They kind of stole this from us, really… Anyway, Pops are super fun and we love collecting them. Our collection “pre-babies” is a little more mature (Ex. Walking Dead characters with bloodied zombie weapons have been moved above eye-level from the kids). And Jeff enjoys finding new “tragic couples” for me to mourn (SPOILER ALERTS: Khal and Khaleesi, Zoe and Wash, Glenn and Maggie, Eleven and Will, Jon and Ygritte, Shaun and Ed) but we started giving them as gifts for birthdays and Christmas so we have a sweet grouping of Pixar characters and princesses. We love them because they are great size, moderately unbreakable, and fun as display items as well.
They make “guys” for just about everything, so everyone can collect them according to their interests. We have one major gripe. EVERY Star Wars figure…is a BOBBLE-HEAD. UGH! Remember we said “moderately unbreakable”? Well have you ever seen a toddler with a bobble head? It does not last long… This is probably a good thing though. We LOVE Star Wars. And we LOVE guys. And they’re not THAT cheap…
So there’s your 5 for the week! I just have two questions now, feel free to answer:
1) Have you heard us say any of these and thought we were nuts?
2) Did anyone get all of the references from my “tragic couples” collection? We need to be best friends…